****SPOILERS, THEY LIE AHEAD!!!****
A heartbreaking work of staggering genius, or just bloody depressing? This week’s True Blood, episode 304 ‘9 Crimes’ (should have known what was coming considering that is one sad song) was somewhere in the middle. Things were revealed, there was fine writing and fine acting, but boy did I feel like shit when it ended. While this show has always been more than a silly escapist fantasy, the nihilism and despair in this ep was heavy. We were basically beaten over the head with ‘Life sucks, and then you die. Except you don’t really, cos you’re a vampire and you can’t die, so your torturous suffering will be eternal, mwahahahaha!’
For the second week in a row I think the episode definitely belonged to Bill the character and Stephen Moyer the actor. His storyline is by far the most interesting right now, and is now starting to link with other characters, hopefully setting up some sort of explosive mid-season collision course of crazy seeing as though we’re already on ep 4. I adored all the scenes he was involved in, hard as they were to watch. Starting with the phone break-up scene that opened the episode. From the snippets I’d seen in previews I fully expected to turn into a blubbering mess at this, but actually just alternated between ‘Wow, that was kinda cold’ and ‘Arrrgh Sookie, how are you believing this?!’ (which then made it just a ‘lil ridiculous when it took her all of one night to realise it was utter horseshite). Still, it was an emotional and well performed scene by both Steve and Anna, and things can only get better from here right? Er, afraid not. But hearing Bill say the f word twice, king hitting that twisted bitch Lorena and then smoking a cigar while looking divine was all fucking win.
As were both members of the Herveaux clan. Were-hunk Alcide had some sweet moments with Sookie, where she tended to his wounds and then he comforted her with a big warm wolf hug. All while displaying the kind of abs that almost made me stop stuffing my gob with vast quantities of chocolate. He has this fantastically gruff demeanour, and he got Sook to use the word ‘nutsack’ in a sentence, which I think was the quotable quote of the episode. And then we got to meet his sister Janice, who is about two me’s stacked on top of each other tall not even including the hair, and a wisdom dispensing biker hippie. Very fun to watch. Incidentally, she also hates her bro’s ex Debbie Pelt, who we also met for the first time. She’s marvellously trashy, and I’m actually rather looking forward to her going into complete psycho mode and starting that ‘murderous rampage’ against Sookie.
But even Alcide and Janice couldn’t wrestle the title of ‘Most Kick-Ass Pair’ away from the never disappointing Eric and Lafayette. Lets go RuPaul? I can’t deal with this fuckedupness? Eric flying out the freakin’ car window? You kill me, Alex Skarsgard and Nelsan Ellis. Alex was also great in the later scene at Fangtasia when the Magister was torturing Pam. We have no doubt now that Eric is capable of love, and it was painful to watch his helplessness. They of course blamed the V dealing on the conveniently AWOL Bill, and have two days to find him! Zomg, like, that means everybody wants Bill! Time for a bold prediction- everybody ends up at Russell’s place all at once in Ep 6 and all hell breaks loose.
From all the other goings on the only thing I really remember is just how effing creepy Franklin is. Granted, I did think that his glamouring/talking through Tara’s voice thing on the phone was way cool, but buying her a bunch of flowers and duct taping them into her hands? Psy-cho. And I got my first ‘You were wrong!’ moment of the season when he ended up at Russell’s. For some reason I had it in my head that he would be working for Sophie-Anne, since Russell already has Bill.
Is Bill just playing Russell to keep Sookie alive? Does Russell know this? Just what the hell is really going on? Help me, I don’t know what to think or feel! Like I said this storyline is the most intriguing thing on the show right now, but I really think if it gets any more convoluted it’s in danger of becoming too much of a mind bender. Here’s what I think they want us to believe right now: Bill is basically saying or doing anything to keep Russell trusting him so he leaves Sookie well the fuck out of it, but is so past giving a toss about anything that it doesn’t matter if he offs a few lost causes and embraces his darkness. Thus that scene in the strip club that made me want to slit my wrists and the stomach churning limo kill. Good Bill gone bad. Blood dripping through the floor. That sad Irish fucker singing over the top of it.
Pardon me. I need to go curl up in a ball and weep, then go watch season 1.
8/10.
