In honour of the Jovi's recent announcement of a stadium spectacular Australian tour (hell to the yeah!) I decided to post this little piece I did for school, following the template of Alternative Press's I Don't Know, Ask That Guy monthly column.
I don’t know, ask that guy (or girl)
I don’t know, ask that guy (or girl)
BON JOVI
Years of existence: 1983-Present
Years of decent existence- Pretty good form for all of them, really.
Best records- Bon Jovi (1984), Slippery When Wet (1986), New Jersey (1988), Keep The Faith (1992)
Worst records- Lost Highway (2007)
Go download- Runaway, Livin’ On A Prayer, You Give Love A Bad Name, It’s My Life
File Under- Masters of the power ballad.
Similar sounding dinosaurs- Def Leppard, Aerosmith, Poison
The music- Emerging from the grimy borough of Sayreville, New Jersey in 1983, complete with era-appropriate tightness of trousers and fullness of hair, the band named after their sometimes actor/ sex symbol for the middle-aged frontman John Bongiovi (a classic Jersey name if there was one) broke out with Runaway from their self-titled debut, and the hits just got more anthemic from there. Their oh-so-80s blend of action movie synth lines, wailing guitars and easily absorbed lyrical subjects attracted a massive worldwide fanbase eager to unleash their suburban repression, and Jovi’s suitably gimmick heavy arena shows were the perfect outlet. Live videos so cheesy they’re awesome and power ballads so melodramatic they could be musical soap operas helped Jovi become one of the biggest rock bands of modern times, giving them the luxury to name an album New Jersey rather than actually having to live there.
What they say- “Second only to Bruce Springsteen in defining the sound and spirit of New Jersey rock & roll.” –Allmusic
What I Say- The, er, poetry of Jovi’s tenderer cuts may be dripping with sickly sweet sap and contain metaphors as subtle as a flying brick, but nobody does power ballads quite like them. Mix with some of their more badass rock anthems and you will have the perfect soundtrack to one of those nights. You know the one- where you start off speeding down the highway belting out Livin’On A Prayer into the balmy summer evening, and end up grovelling at your lover’s feet promising to make it up to them by laying them down in a Bed of Roses. Not the to mention that without them you would be stuck with Bryan Adams when trying to select a rock tune for karaoke.
Why your (grand)parents like them- Hate to break this to you kid, but not only do your parents probably dig Bon Jovi, you very well may have been conceived to the sounds of Slippery When Wet. And buried at the bottom of many a closet in middle class suburbia may be a tour t-shirt from the night your mum (and every other screaming female in attendance…) fell in love.
Current whereabouts- Apart from a brief hiatus from 1997-99, Jovi have remained a constant in the mainstream rock scene, though they now specialise in more tepid adult radio fare. In late 2009 they released their 11th studio album The Circle, which debuted at number one on the billboard charts, and are currently on a world tour in support of it. Buy your olds a pair of tickets when the show hits your town, along with some extra panties for dear old mother. She may just throw hers at that sexy beast on stage.
